Season 1, Episode 4
June 29, 2013
Dan Schneider & Warren Bell
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While Sam is in the restroom Chloe and Max decide to have some fun and prank call Inside Out Burger. Sam discovers them and they quickly become defensive. She asks if they were making prank phone calls, which they reply yes meekly to. Instead of reprimanding them she joins them and proclaims that she is 'The Master of Prank Phone calls'. Cat walks through the door with a pizza while Sam and the children are making the prank call. They scream into the phone and accidentally scare Cat, she faints. Sam realizes Cat has fainted and exclaims "Oh no! The pizza!". Sam brings the pizza over to the counter and begins to eat it, telling the kids to help Cat up. Cat comes to fairly confused and ask what happened, Chloe informs her that she fainted. "Why?" Cat asks and looks around, seeing Sam's face she realizes someone must have scared her. She tells the kids that they can't scare her- it makes her go 'non-conscious'. Sam's phone rings and she asks Cat to answer it. On the line is the lady they were prank calling asking to buy a pair of 'Poof-Panties'. Confused Cat ask them if any of them have heard of 'Poof-Panties' they all shrug and deny it.
The next morning, Sam is putting two slices of pizza and a bottle of root beer in the blender and blends it. Cat walks in and asks what she is 'blendering' Sam replies "Breakfast!". Cat sits down and says that she had the weirdist dream last night, Sam asks that she not tell her about it but Cat continues. Her dream had to do with her falling off of a boat but she was ok because she was wearing 'Poof-Panties' and they inflated saving her. Sam hands her the smoothie. Cat asks what is in it and Sam responds "You know how you love fruit yogurt and juice?" Cat replies "Mhmm" and takes a sip of her breakfast Sam counters it by saying "Well that's pizza and root beer" she squeals and almost spits it out but realizes that she likes it. Dice stops by with a goat, that he accidentally bought off the street and leaves him with Sam to babysit. Sam names the goat Murf. Dice also has a new friend with him, an MMA fighter named Goomer, that is now managed by Dice. While Sam’s watching the goat, Dilben, her neighbor who claims his dad is the owner of the building, stops by to tell her she can’t keep the goat in the apartment. In a typical Sam manner, she refuses to follow the rules and kicks Dilben out.
Cat and Sam go to the gym to watch Goomer compete and Cat tries to stop him from fighting, even though that’s his job. When Sam and Cat are back home, Dilben stops by again but has bad news, he wants to try to kick Sam and Cat out of their apartment because they don’t have an adult living with them.
Sam and Cat go visit Cat’s grandma, Nona, at Elderly Acres, and tell her to come over so that they can convince Dilben’s dad that she actually lives there. Unfortunately, Nona sprains her ankle so they have to pretend Goomer is their uncle to prove they have an adult living with them. Unfortunately, Goomer is a bit slow and has difficulty grasping what he’s supposed to do. Dilben and his dad stop by to investigate and discover that Sam and Cat are lying.
The biggest twist is that it turns out that the man Dilben claims owns the building isn’t really his dad, and he doesn’t even know who owns the building. Dilben's real dad shows up and it is revealed that Dilben is ashamed that his dad's job is selling wide shoes to wide footed women. Sam and Cat get to continue living there and everything works out fine in the end.
Cat: Ya know what they say… Easy like a goat.
Sam: Who says that?
Cat: The goat keepers...?
Cat: [doorbell rings] Come in, Dice.
Dilben: [comes in] I'm not Dice.
Sam: Get out.
Cat: No! Dilben, hi! Come in, would you like a muffin?
Dilben: I spit on your muffins.
Cat: You should try butter.
Dilben: [kicked out of the apartment by Sam] How dare you put my shirt around my waist and my pants around my torso!
Sam: Thanks for stopping by!
Dilben: You give me back my cape!
Dilben: Why not?
Sam: 'Cause young boys shouldn't wear capes!
Dilben: [walks away] Sherlock Holmes wore a cape!
Sam: [kicks Dilben out once again] Enjoy your Saturday!
Dilben: I still have one more cape!
Sam: Suck a truck.
Dilben: I will not suck a truck, or enjoy my Saturday!
Sam: All right, Dilben, you can have your cape back.
Dilben: [runs to the door but Sam closes the door before he can get his cape back]
Cat: [stops Goomer and his opponent from practicing fighting] Boys, boys, boys, stop! Time out!
Cat: Fighting is never the answer. Now try using your words. Use your words.
Goomer: I... I want to punch you, and hurt your face.
Opponent: I don't want that to happen?
Cat: See? Now you both expressed your feelings without violence, and that's the only good way to solve a problem.
Goomer: Or... [knocks his opponent down to the ground]
Cat: Violence also works.
Cat: [on the phone] Yeah, he's really cute, and he doesn't eat a lot, and you can have him for free!
Sam: Who you talking to?
Cat: A farmer. I found him online. Hi, yeah, sorry, I'm back.
Sam: [looks at PearPad]
Cat: [on the phone] Why not? He's a goat and it needs a home and you're a farmer!
Cat: What's up?
Sam: He's not a farmer.
Sam: His name is Farmer. See? Robert T. Farmer.
Cat: Oh. I thought the "T" stood for "the".
Sam: [slaps forehead, then takes the PearPhone from Cat] Sorry, Robert, get back on your tractor.
Dice: He's a professional fighter. MMA.
Sam: Mixed Martial Arts. You know, fighting in the octagon.
Dice: MMA. Just like NFL.
Cat: [starts to say something]
Sam: If you say "niffle", I will cook and eat this goat.
Dice: He's great. He's big, strong, and he's crazy fast.
Goomer: Yeah. Try and slap me, right across the face. Go ahead, see if you can—
Sam: [slaps Goomer]
Goomer: I wasn't ready! Try again, try and slap me right across—
Sam: [slaps Goomer]
Goomer: All right, all right, wait, wait. Lemme count to three. 1—
Sam: [slaps Goomer]
Sam: [puts both hands on Dice's shoulders and speaks sarcastically] Yeah, you're gonna make a lot of money off this guy.
Cat: Murf sneezed on Goomer.
Goomer: Bad dog!
- This is Goomer's first appearance.
- This is Murf's first appearance.
- On Friday, February 8, Dan Schneider posted a photo of Jennette McCurdy and Ariana Grande during the episode's production.
- Ariana tweeted "Chilling with mom in my dressing room. Have a good day y'all. Love u." while this episode was filming.
- Jennette posted on Facebook that they were filming this episode on February 8.
- This episode was in production from February 4 to February 8, 2013.
- Ariana made several Keeks during the filming of this episode.
- River Alexander guest starred in this episode as Dilben.
- In one of the transitions, there is a photo of a mustard bottle called Schneider's Mustard. This is named after the show's creator Dan Schneider.
- Chloe, Max, and Darby appear in this episode.
- During the credits, Cat asks Sam if she has her toothbrush, and Sam sarcastically replies "Would I own a pink toothbrush that does this?" and when she pushes the music button, Cat dances to it.
- When Sam and Cat visit Elderly Acres, there is a picture of Dan Schneider as Mr. Oldman, a character from The Amanda Show, with the caption "Elderly of the Month".
- The "unedited version" (as billed in the promos) of this episode aired January 8, 2014 at 7 a.m. (EST) as part of the "Wake Up with Sam & Cat" week on Nickelodeon.
- The man who sells Murf is named Serge.
- The name of Dilben's "fake dad" is Frank. It is only known, according to the credits.
- Both Sam and Cat are stated to be 16 in the script of this episode.
- Dice mentions the NFL, the US's National Football League.
- It's revealed that Goomer is 27 and lived in Van Nuys.
- When Sam rearranges Dilben's clothes, it isn't seen what happened to his belt.
- Sam says she had already eaten breakfast, but technically she drank it.
- Dice asked Sam and Cat to babysit Murf while he's at school, but later that same day, Sam mentioned it was Saturday. It could be possible he had Saturday school.
- Sam switching someone's clothing.
- Goomer thinking Murf is a dog.
- Sam says tells someone to "suck a truck" like she did the iCarly episode "iLost My Head in Vegas."
- When Dice tells Goomer to fight, he says "kay-kay" as Cat always did in Victorious.
- At Elderly Acres, when Cat, Sam, and Nona were talking, there were two bottles of water labeled "Crystal Waters." Crystal Waters was seen a few times on Victorious.
- In Victorious Cat had seen inflatable underpants in the SkyStore Catalog, possibly poof panties.
- Like in The Worst Couple from Victorious, Cat fainted under extreme stress though this time it was from being startled.
- October 16, 2013 (Australia & New Zealand)
- October 19, 2013 (Germany, Netherlands, Poland)
- October 28, 2013 (UK & Ireland)
- November 7, 2013 (Italy, Portugal)
- November 9, 2013 (Latin America)
- November 20, 2013 (France)
- November 25, 2013 (Spain)
- February 27, 2014 (Greece)
- March 2, 2014 (Hungary; Serbian region; Croatian region)